Summer changes everything for separated families. The school routine disappears, the usual handover days stop making sense and suddenly there are questions about holidays abroad, extra time with the children and what happens if you and your ex cannot agree.
Our family team at Hethertons Solicitors is asked the same handful of questions every year once the summer break gets closer, which we have answered below.
Does your existing arrangement still apply?
Many Child Arrangement Orders include separate holiday provisions, often an extended block of time with whichever parent the children do not live with day to day.
Before assuming anything changes automatically, go back and read the actual wording of your order or agreement.
It is surprisingly common for confusion to start simply because someone is working from memory rather than the document itself.
Can you take your child abroad?
If your Child Arrangements Order names your child as living with you, you can take them abroad for up to 28 days without needing the other parent’s permission, unless the order says otherwise.
This single rule catches out a lot of parents, since some assume consent is always needed while others assume it is never needed.
If there is no order in place, or your child is not named as living with you, you will need agreement from everyone with parental responsibility before travelling. Without that agreement, an application to the court would be needed instead and thereafter, any plans will be subject to the specific terms set out by the court, tailored as they determine as appropriate to the case.
Whatever the situation, get any agreement in writing. Even a friendly message confirming dates and destination protects both parents if questions come up later.
What if you cannot agree on summer plans?
Start with a direct conversation and be specific. A vague message asking to take the children away sometime in August tends to create friction.
Proposing clear dates and a named destination, along with contact details while away, usually gets a far better response.
If a direct conversation does not resolve things, mediation is generally the next step before considering any change to an existing order or plan.
There are, of course, exceptions to this and mediation may not be appropriate or be the right approach every time.
It tends to be quicker and less stressful than going to court, and for most family applications, you will need to show that mediation has at least been considered before a court will take the case further.
During mediation, both parents sit down with a trained, neutral mediator, either in person or remotely, to work through the specific points of disagreement. The mediator will not take sides or make decisions for either parent.
Their role is simply to help both sides reach an agreement of their own and most summer disputes settle at this stage within one or two sessions, since the issues involved tend to be practical rather than deeply entrenched.
Do you actually need a court order?
Often not. Many families manage extra summertime through an informal agreement or a written parenting plan and that works well where there is a reasonable level of trust and communication between both parents.
It is important to note, however, that a written parenting plan is not usually enforceable unless its terms have been incorporated into a court order. Where an application for a court order is made, a written parenting plan which the parties have agreed between themselves can be helpful evidence.
A court order is important where there is a pattern of disagreement or a risk that arrangements will not be honoured. Once made, a Child Arrangement Order will be legally binding.
The same applies where international travel is involved and extra certainty is wanted, such as an extended stay overseas.
What if there is no formal arrangement at all?
This situation is more common than many people realise and while it can feel more relaxed, it is only a good arrangement until it is not.
Without an order or written agreement, both parents who hold parental responsibility have an equal right to spend time with their child, though neither can simply insist on particular dates without the other’s cooperation.
In all matters relating to these arrangements, the court will always focus on the child’s welfare and best interests.
If a genuine impasse is reached, applying to the court for a Child Arrangements Order is the way to resolve it, though mediation is always worth trying first.
How often should arrangements be reviewed?
Sometimes the issue is not the summer holiday itself, but the fact that an old order no longer reflects how the family actually lives now.
Children get older and work patterns change and arrangements that made sense two or three years ago can start to feel impractical.
Where that is the case, it is usually better to vary the order properly, either by agreement or through the court, rather than quietly working around it every summer.
A short conversation with a solicitor can clarify whether a variation is the right move and what the process involves.
What happens if plans fall through or a child does not want to go?
If a holiday or contact period has been properly agreed and confirmed, cancelling it without good reason can be treated as a breach of the arrangement.
Keeping a written record, even a confirmed text thread, matters if a dispute arises later. Where breaches become repeated or serious, mediation or an application to the court to enforce the existing order is usually the next step.
Courts take breaches of Child Arrangements Orders seriously and a range of enforcement powers is available, so this is not something to leave unaddressed if it keeps happening.
One particularly sensitive issue, especially with older children, is what happens when a child says they do not want to go.
This needs careful handling. Family professionals and the courts do take a child’s wishes into account as they get older, depending on their age and maturity, but it is important that a parent does not actively encourage or influence that refusal.
Where this becomes a recurring pattern, it is worth getting advice on how to manage it constructively before it escalates.
Where do grandparents stand?
Grandparents do not have an automatic legal right to contact, though they can apply to the court for permission to seek a Child Arrangements Order if needed.
Talk to our family team
If you have a question about your own arrangements this summer, our family law team at Hethertons Solicitors would be happy to help.
Get in touch for a confidential conversation about your situation and we hope you have a smooth and enjoyable summer with your family.
